What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 01:38
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
All the time i was locked up.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He resisted the act ,that day.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Ram to enter trucks in 2026 with possible future move to Cup for Dodge - FOX Sports
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
That ‘unsubscribe’ link is actually a hidden security risk — do this instead - Tom's Guide
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I don,t even have a pension.
Samsung's Galaxy Watch 4 is now nearing the end of its run - Android Police
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Why did i forgive my father ?
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I write beautiful poetry .
Do all rocket engines emit harmful gases into the atmosphere during launch?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Do you remember one day, you put a deep smile on someone's face and made them very happy?
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Are you happy that soon we will never hear from Kamala Jones again?
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
She was in good health!
What are some important works of Marcel Proust (novelist)?
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
These are the best new MacBook deals in June: options starting at $649 - 9to5Mac
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
S.A.-area rabies cases spark concern for officials. Here's why - MySA
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
What should a young woman do to control sagging breasts?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
If you could instantly cancel one social norm, what would it be?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
How can the K-pop fandom have such a toxic mentality?
I was very sick at this time too.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
(And it was in our own minds.)
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
My family never makes their pension either.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Put me off passion for life!!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Ive learnt so much.
I will be 64.
But, we were locked up after school.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She wouldn,t have been !
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
We all went to grammer schools
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Who then, do I blame.?
One cannot live in the past .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I was scared of men, in general
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I never cut or harmed myself..
He knew the spot.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She found it foreign!.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I waited trembling.
I was seconnd youngest,
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
My life is so biszare .
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
This is soul school!.
I have no regrets .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
She loved him until the end.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
So whats the point in blame.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Im still living with it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
She married twice! .
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
We were not on the streets..
But it wasn’t much.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
And i lived it daily.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I think the readers, may guess!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I was 9 years of age.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
When she asked me how she looked .
Would this be the day?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Was to survive, this bastard.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
So, i spoilt her more .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As i do to all so called friends.?
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I couldn’t, believe it.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Comes on , in middle age.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
It was going to be , some day.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Especially a lifetime of it.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I said to her
What did i know ?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
But ive been too sick for many years..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.